This kid #3

I kind of can't get enough of this kid. 

Saturday was eventful.

 We went to a birthday party for his cousin who is turning 4. 

Pretty much everything he got had something to do with Cars. 

Z-Man is obsessed with Cars.

 He was really struggling watching all the awesome presents be unwrapped. 

Every time he would get so excited and say, "For me!" I'd have to tell him that it wasn't. 

It was pretty sad. 

Then, after his cousin had opened one of his presents Z-Man said, "Oh. I'm so sorry." Then he paused and said, "That one is for me." He was so sincere an apologetic that that was his toy and not his cousins. I about died laughing. 

Right after that we went to Costco. 

 I let Z-Man walk beside me in the store and he was being such a good boy.

 As we were standing in the checkout line surrounded by a ton of people he is looking around with a horrific look on his face.

 I asked him what was wrong and he held his hands out and pointed and yelled, "They all have big butts mom!" 

Awesome Z-Man. Just awesome.

This kid #2

I wrote my last post too soon. I wrote about my most wonderful little boy who is sweeter than all sweet. It must have been a good day. Most days things like this happen.

Ya, he's kind of naughty.

This is NOT the first time.

The 4th to be exact.

At least he didn't draw all over the couch this time.

This actually happened.

This time we made him scrub the walls. He hated it. Not just because it was hard, but mostly because he was so proud of his masterpieces. He kept saying, "No Mom! Stop! My drawings!" 

I have a feeling this is going to keep happening.

This Kid

This kid is hilarious lately. 

He's started to say things in a deep throaty voice. ex: "Never!" 

The other day he wanted to say our family prayer. So we start, "Dear Heavenly  Father" 

Well, he says "Father" in his deep throaty voice. It took us about 10 minutes to get through the prayer because we were trying not to laugh.

He thinks he's a puppy. He sneaks in the dog house, gives puppy kisses, and likes to play fetch. He's a really good puppy too. Sometimes when I ask him to do something as a boy, he says, "Never!" but if I ask the puppy to do it he does it immediately.

He is learning new words daily. He's learning them so fast that he doesn't always understand what he is saying and it turns out to be really funny. 

He gives the BEST squeezes.

He shares with Miss Mills.

He is always worried about people. If you're sad, he'll give you a kiss and ask to see your happy face. 

If you are sick, he gives you a squeeze and will pat your back.

If you are tired he'll get you a blanket.

He tells me he loves me unprompted.

He tells me to have sweet dreams.

He's just the best. And he's mine.

Time Consuming

I have no time to blog anymore. I frequently have things happen that I want to blog about so I never forget them but I am so busy.

 This working full time and still being a wife and mom is time consuming! 

I don't like to say "hard". When people say something is "hard" it usually has a negative meaning. I like my job, and I love being a mom and wife. And none of them are "hard". 

My house is a disaster. 

When I get home from work I want to soak up all the giggles, smiles, cuddles, and kisses that I missed during the day that we just play.

 I make dinner (which I loathe. Why do kids have to eat every single day?) Dirty up the kitchen a little more. And we head to the park. I love the park. Maybe more than Z-Man. I love that I can meet up with neighbors, I love to see Z-Man interact and play with other kids, and I love how much Miss Mills loves the swings. 

We get back just in time for a bubble bath, read 3 stories, and go to sleep. I then get Miss Mills out of her bed and hold her for at least an hour. Every night. Call me crazy- I don't care. 

Don't get me wrong. Sometimes it doesn't all go as planned. 

Sometimes Z-Man has massive meltdowns when I pick him up. He NEVER wants to come home. He has so much fun at his daycare or at Grandma's. 

Millie is teething. Enough Said.

There are massive wildfires here so the air is sick and smokey. 

And mostly, I miss my Rhyno.

isn't he handsome?

February 9th

Today at work I was going through old documents, most of which I hadn't noticed the date until I saw one dated 2-9-07. It was a document I prepared and had hand signed. 

February 9, 2007. Z-Man's birthday. 

He wasn't even thought about in 2007. Rhyno and I were married, living in our first house together. 

We were wild, irresponsible, and care free. 

Fast forward 3 years to 2-9-10. I'm scared as crap because I have a new born baby boy that is now under my care and I'm more in love with Rhyno than ever before. 

Fast forward to today.  I'm so grateful for February 9th. It was the single most life changing day of my entire life. I love being a mama not only to Z-Man but to my sweet Miss Mills as well, and I can never thank my Rhyno enough for giving them to me. 

Photo taken by my awesome sis. More to come.

A Mom

I'm a lot late with this post, but it's about what I love most. Being a mama to Z-Man and Miss Mills. 

Let me tell you a story.

 I did not want kids. Not even a little. Ryan did.

 Rhyno loves and idolizes his grandpa. This grandpa got pretty sick. One night, Rhyno sits me down and tells me he wants to start trying for a baby. I call him crazy and selfish and it's my body that has to go through all that and I don't want to do it. He then pulls this line out, "I really want my grandpa to be able to meet at least one of my kids." I melted. Rhyno has a way of getting to that soft spot in my heart, but this one topped the cake. I stopped taking the "the pill" the next day. I was terrified. Every month when sweet aunt flo came I was so relieved.

 I pretended to be sad. 

Then the day happened. I was one day late....2 red lines. 

Then something weird happened. I was kind of excited. The next few weeks I went back and forth. Most of the time I was so scared because I had gotten guilted into having a baby. The second I heard that little heart beat I turned into a mom. I worried about that little baby in me to no end. I'll forever hold an extra special place in my heart for my Z-Man because he made me a mama. 

Then this little surprise came. This little one is truly an angel sent to me. 

ps- Grandpa is still here with us. But I can't for a second feel bad about that guilt trip!

Life

Lately I have been so worn out. I literally am busy all the time. When I'm not at work, I am home taking care of the two cuties. During that time I do all the house work, cooking, and project for the etsy shop. Sometimes I'm lucky to get in a workout, but that usually backfires because then I'm even more tired. Sometimes I play the poor me game to myself. I hate that. I know this time while my husband is going to school and working will be over eventually and we will be able to have a "normal" life together. And I know I am dang lucky to have these two cuties. They love each other so much. Mills is always watching Zoo and Zoo is always trying to pull her off the couch or around on the floor to come play with him. So even being worn out, it's all worth it in the end.

His new favorite way to sleep. I love it.

 I told you he loves Mills. He insisted on sleeping there.

Life as a New Mom...(again)

I remember when my son was born and I would hear and read about other moms say things about how they are always tired, starving because they don't have time to eat, and stinky because they don't have to shower, and their house in always a complete disaster. 

I thought they were all crazy. 

After my son was born I slept longer and better than when I was pregnant because I took a nap every single time he did...not kidding. 

I was starving, every single time I nursed him I had to eat or I'd die. So I did. It wasn't ever a time issue.

I showered with the door open with the little one in his swing or when my husband was home.

And my house was cleaner than it had ever been because I was home more. (I also lived in the tiniest duplex ever that only took me 45 minutes to deep clean)

Now that I have 2 children and do not think those women are crazy. 

My baby is an angel. She naps for about 2 hours then wakes up to eat and play during the day and will give me one long stretch at night from 10pm-4am. I told you...Angel. However, I do not sleep when she sleeps, and even now, both kids are in bed and I'm blogging/pinning.

I do forget to eat now and will realize I'm starving. However, I still probably eat more than regular women. 

Showering is something I make a priority. Even if I have to wake up early or stay up late. I HAVE to shower daily or I feel like blah. However, I rarely do my hair or make up and I wear sweats all day (sorry hubby)

My house looks like a tornado has hit it. No joke. Even when I clean up the living room and vacuum, I give my sweet Tazmanian Toddler approximately 2.5 minutes and there are cars and blankets EVERYWHERE!

I also feel like now that we are in a home I sometimes regret it because I have some many more rooms to clean, including more bathrooms. 

I'll be honest, the only time my house looks even remotely presentable is when my visiting teachers come over. 

I've heard people talk about a cleaning schedule where you do one chore a day. I think I'm going to have to implement that. 

oh-and ps- I go back to work on Monday.   :( 

not my actual house. I googled images for messy house and now I feel like mine is very tidy. It was a great confidence booster. you should try it

Before I know it, I'll be dead

Sounds a little depressing right? I say it because time seems to be flying by without me even knowing it.

Millie is almost 1 month old

Ryan had almost a whole month off work, but now he's back at work :(

I only have 2 more weeks until i go back to work. double 

Besides the fact that I have another child in my home, I'm not even sure what I've done with my time. When Zane was a newborn I specifically remember my schedule of holding Zane all day while watching tv, taking a bazillion pictures of him in all his outfits, and maybe once a day doing a quick clean up of the house. (it was a tiny apartment that when I deep cleaned, it only took me 45 minutes-now I feel like a have freaking mansion -I don't- that has a tornado -Zane- that comes through it every 10 minutes or so. I have taken hardly any pictures of little Mills besides on my iphone, and I didn't get the 4s, so it's not even an awesome camera on my phone. ugh. 

Here are the few pictures that make my heart swell.

sorry, this one is turned. it's probably my all time favorite. it makes me laugh every time.

he's sure a proud Big Brother

she's gorgeous, I know.

I love this one a lot. Ryan is such a good daddy

he kisses her about 100 times a day

I love the way he's looking at her in this one (ps-notice Millie's mohawk? It's sweet)

Most handsome award goes to Zaner

He can't really handle being away from her at any time.

I AM

I am a daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, aunt, friend, but the one I love most is

 I AM MOM

The definition in Webster's Dictionary for mother is a female parent. 

That is not all a mother means to me. A mother is someone who at any time day or night will take a phone call just to listen, a mother is incredibly unselfish, a mother is hard working, a mother's heart hurts when she thinks about how much she loves her children, a mother always has her children's best intentions at heart, a mother is never tired of seeing and hearing new things about her children, in my life a mother is a necessity.

I am extremely blessed to know many great moms. 

My Mom: She was tough on me in High School and the older I got the more we butt heads. But...we could always talk. We'd take midnight grocery store trips together and spend forever there and always end it with a Kit Kat. Now my mom is always the one I call whenever I have a question about my own kid. Or when I'm bored. I call my mom at work almost everyday just to say hi. I know she's always there for me and will help me in any way she can.

My Mother-in-law: She is truly an amazing women. She's so strong in the gospel and loves her kids more than anyone I know. She is constantly running errands or doing something for one of them. She's also an awesome grandma. She will take advantage of every opportunity she can to spend with her grandkids no matter the cost. 

My Aunt Judy: She never had children so I like to call her my second mom. When my mom was bugging me I'd call her. I'm selfish enough to sometimes be glad that she never had children because then I would have to fight them for her attention. She always has the best recipes to try out and it's like a vacation when you stay at her house. She always will cook my favorite meal- roast beef when I go. She's really the best.

And my sisters: TJ, Ginger, and April

My Sisters in law: Christine and Riley

all of you have had to endure all my dumb questions as I was pregnant or a newbie. You are all examples of what kind of a mom I want to me. You all mean the world to me.

see- I told you I was really lucky.

I am Mom to the sweetest boy. I'll forever be grateful to him and my hubby Ryan for making me a Mommy

the moment I became a momma

For an interesting article about how much a mother is worth dollar wise click here. I'm seriously underpaid.

1 year

February 9th my little baby zoo turned 1 year old.  I thought I was handling it well but I'm really not. Don't get me wrong-I LOVE all the new tricks you develop everyday. I love watching his ah-ha moments. I love his cheesy grins and when he crawl to me, reaches up,  and say mama. I love his contagious laugh. But....

I miss the moments I when I would sit at night and feel you swimming around in my belly.

I miss twice a week listening to your heartbeat for at least 30 minutes at the NST's ( I don't however miss the stress the NST's caused me)

I miss the time we spent in the hospital before we got to go home. I absolutely LOVED when the nurses brought you into my room at night to nurse. Your cry sounded just like a tiny baby bird.

I miss all the time we spent at home after you were born. I was so worried about RSV I wouldn't take you anywhere.

I miss sitting on the couch holding you wrapped up like a burrito for hours.

I miss nursing you.

I miss your tiny clothes.

I miss how you always slept with your mouth wide open.

I miss staring at you with your daddy for hours on end and we'd tell each other about a kazillion times how cute you are.

I miss so many things about having a newborn baby to care for. I worry I will never love a newborn baby the way I loved my zaney zoo. I feel so guilty about the fact that I can NEVER see myself with another baby. It's not that I don't want more kids. I can't really explain it. I never thought that after one child I would feel done. I feel like I'm wussing out as a mom because I was given an angel baby and I'm not craving more. Maybe I'm just not ready for another child and my Heavenly Father knows that and is protecting me.